How to give your kids trust issues and anxiety brought to you by privacy invading mormon Dad
See Also: How to further endanger people in abusive relationships, brought to you by privacy invading mormon Dad, with control issues.
It’s honestly like Christian Grey level micromanaging. Do you wanna fuck up your kid? Because this is how you fuck up your kid.
My parents did this to me as a teenager.
Nothing will ever match the horror of being called into your dad’s office at the age of 14 and him showing you screenshots of your own computer from the last several months.
Screenshots of private conversations with online friends.
Or records of my internet browsing history.
And then my fundamentalist christian parents asked, “do you masturbate?” because they found I had signed up for this site called “okcupid” in order to do the fun personality quizzes they had on it. And okcupid was a “sex site.”
And they would play mind games with me, pretending that they had been recording more of my activity than they actually had, but refusing to tell me how much, so I never really knew how much they actually knew, or how long they’d been spying on my computer, and I lived in constant fear of them pulling out a “WE KNOW YOU DID THIS, GOTCHA.” at any moment.
Sometimes when I left the room they would sneak onto my computer and go through anything I had left open.
I’m 23 now, and to this day I have a soul-crippling paranoia of anybody getting near my computer. Not even long term romantic partners. NOBODY touches my computer. Never ever ever ever.
Because instead of actually communicating with your children, stalk them instead to manipulate them emotionally.
This is how we found out my brother was looking at Sonic the hedgehog porn at 11-years-old
my parents didn’t let me have my own computer until i was 16. Before that the only time i was allowed to use the desktop was in the public space they could see from every room in the house. After i got my computer i wasn’t allowed to have it in my room at night until i TURNED 18, i wasn’t allowed to have a password on it until then. They monitored all my accounts online and once punished me for 3 months because a video i made “looked gay” i was 14…my dad didn’t understand google search so when i looked up reference for photos if there was any pg13+ fanart i would be grounded because it came up in the image search. i am 21 almost 22 and even today it doesn’t matter who i can’t have anyone on my computer without wanting to rip it out of their hands. They can’t look over my shoulder at what im doing without getting yelled at. I have to face the computer away from me to show them something on the screen.
My parents did this with my phone as well. They would wait until I was in the shower then go through my text messages and recent calls. If I had texts I was in trouble. If I didn’t have texts I was in trouble too because they thought I cleared my history. I remember one day I came back into my room to find them sitting on my bed with my phone. Dad interrogated me about who almost all my contacts were, what my messages were about, and other things. While I was standing there soaking wet in a towel. I tried to password protect it after that and got in trouble. I was always hiding something even at fourteen.
In middle school I would use my dad’s computer down stairs to log in to Gaia Online. One day my dad went through my history, found the site, made me long on and take him through every single conversation I’d ever had on there even though I’d just joined to talk about tv shows and make a cute avatar. He accused me of trying to give his computer a virus from having pms and posting in forums. The only reason I got my own laptop was because they had already bought me one. I wasn’t allowed to use my laptop upstairs in my room while on the internet. I had to be downstairs with my family where it was impossible to get work done with my dad hovering and my siblings fighting. But the router we had was downstairs in my dad’s office. Now, whenever my laptop turned on the router would show my laptop had connected to the internet even if I wasn’t online. A week after I got my laptop my dad came into my room and took it from me while I was typing a paper because I had “broken their trust and gotten online”. I had just turned on the laptop.
Even today when I’m home, mind you I’m a 21 year old graduating college senior with a 4.0 GPA and no record of any misbehavior, if I’m in my room on my laptop and dad comes upstairs and sees me switch a tab he gets angry at me for hiding things from him. I’m paranoid of people looking over my shoulder when I type (even if I’m searching something for them) and of them being on my laptop without me knowing. My mom asks me why I’m so cautious of being around my dad when I’m on any sort of technology and my only response is “well, he’s been trying to incriminate me since I was fourteen. Its a learned response”.
I’m 27 and my dad still does this. I’m not allowed to have my cell phone out when I’m at his house without telling them who I’m talking to and what about. This is the extent he can do since I don’t stay there anymore except for Christmas. Before this, when I did stay over for weekends (usually in summer when I was home from college or weekends when I was in high school) I couldn’t have internet in my room, I had to use the computer in the living room, which he watched over my shoulder.